Present Time
Last week I had an insight into how liberating staying in the present moment can really be, and why that is so. Especially for a perfectionist. My husband and I each hate being blamed or criticized for something we did "wrong"; recently we figured out that this is because we are WAY harder on ourselves already, even before the other person has noticed what we've blown. And we also understood that the best way "out" is to stay in the present, where all the creativity and problem-solving energy exists and can be tapped almost instantly.
Case in point: Last Friday we went to Oneonta to pick up my child-hood twin bed frame and mattresses in a big ol' rental van that was a challenge to drive, even for a former bus driver like me. On the way back, we were past the last Oneonta exit when I realized I'd left a vital component to my overnight kit that could not be easily replaced. I gave myself an instant headache blaming myself for it, started crying right away and thinking how terrible this was going to be, because we were on a time schedule with having to return the van by a certain time, etc. Bear was critical of me for about two seconds, then he was able to quickly let that go and get into problem-solving mode. He called up my mother to see if she could grab the item and meet us at the western side of Oneonta, meanwhile we would get off at the next exit and circle back, and then he called the rental company to let them know we would be late and make sure there wasn't another rental of this vehicle coming right up. I was able to let go of blaming myself and just move into this new plan, which was really fine.
Lots better than arguing and going ballistic on each other for 30 minutes before being able to come up with a plan and start executing it. Have you done this?
My niece Emily has shared with me a round called Let Go and Move by Velma Frye that goes:
With all that has been, take lessons, take lessons and be grateful
Let go let go let go let go
Let go and move, move on
move on
Yes!
Case in point: Last Friday we went to Oneonta to pick up my child-hood twin bed frame and mattresses in a big ol' rental van that was a challenge to drive, even for a former bus driver like me. On the way back, we were past the last Oneonta exit when I realized I'd left a vital component to my overnight kit that could not be easily replaced. I gave myself an instant headache blaming myself for it, started crying right away and thinking how terrible this was going to be, because we were on a time schedule with having to return the van by a certain time, etc. Bear was critical of me for about two seconds, then he was able to quickly let that go and get into problem-solving mode. He called up my mother to see if she could grab the item and meet us at the western side of Oneonta, meanwhile we would get off at the next exit and circle back, and then he called the rental company to let them know we would be late and make sure there wasn't another rental of this vehicle coming right up. I was able to let go of blaming myself and just move into this new plan, which was really fine.
Lots better than arguing and going ballistic on each other for 30 minutes before being able to come up with a plan and start executing it. Have you done this?
My niece Emily has shared with me a round called Let Go and Move by Velma Frye that goes:
With all that has been, take lessons, take lessons and be grateful
Let go let go let go let go
Let go and move, move on
move on
Yes!
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