Musings of a Composer

Friends, I got tired of my own procrastination and worrying over who is going to play the deepest notes in my Celebration of the Deep.  Originally written for an altered double bass that is tuned down a fourth so that the lowest pitch was B 3 octaves below middle C, I've struggled with what instruments in a "normal" orchestra can play that low.  Contra Bassoon, Bass Clarinet, and yay, Piano.  The Ithaca Community Orchestra has access to a piano in their rehearsal and performance spaces, so this is a possibility.  No one who has a low reed instrument, would have to be borrowed.  So this morning, very nervously, I went to see if the piano at the performance space has a functioning low B.  It does!  It even sounds pretty good!  So I am one very happy camper.  I will try Cayenna's conductor/director's idea of doubling that low line with the alternating of two bassoons, this should make it simpler than trying to borrow instruments yes?  Si...

Last week I had an insight into how liberating staying in the present moment can really be, and why that is so.  Especially for a perfectionist.  My husband and I each hate being blamed or criticized for something we did "wrong"; recently we figured out that this is because we are WAY harder on ourselves already, even before the other person has noticed what we've blown.  And we also understood that the best way "out" is to stay in the present, where all the creativity and problem-solving energy exists and can be tapped almost instantly. Case in point:  Last Friday we went to Oneonta to pick up my child-hood twin bed frame and mattresses in a big ol' rental van that was a challenge to drive, even for a former bus driver like me.  On the way back, we were past the last Oneonta exit when I realized I'd left a vital component to my overnight kit that could not be easily replaced.  I gave myself an instant headache blaming myself for it, started crying rig...

Managed to spend a couple of hours yesterday composing new material for french horns for a section that previously was just a repeat.  12 bars I'm working on, 4 part harmony, am aiming for a little bit of polyphony, some brass effects, hope it will be lovely and that it will still lead well into the next section!  I like the uncertainty of it all - the creativity and inspiration and problem-solving when the solution is very unclear at almost all moments.  Heck, the process is FUN!  And then I give it a rest and check back in later to see if what I wrote is any good...  I let my belly be the guide, because when it is not "right" I feel unease and discomfort in my gut.  Interesting, eh? 5 Months To Go...  :Four French Horns -- Three More Brass -- Two Of Every Wind -- And There's One (Me) Composing It All.  :)  [ Sung to the tune of "on the first day of christmas" except I've started with the 5 golden rings part. I know it is not the season! ]