Musings of a Composer

Afterglow continues...

2010-12-19T10:53:00.000-08:00

I keep trying to shift my focus to holiday shopping, and packing for our short trip to NYC for lots of singing around the piano, but find that I'm still hearing my piece in my head off and on, and dreaming about parts of it, and assimilating the rich experience I had attending rehearsals and then multiple performances of Celebration of the Deep. My head and heart are so full of all that happened I'm finding it hard to write about!

Saturday's performance at the church was glorious, the overall best the piece has sounded; I was so pleased, and my Mom was proud! My two sisters as well - it was grand to have my family come from Oneonta for the event. Working out the kinks Friday night and Saturday during the run-through was the sort of fun challenge and on-the-spot problem-solving that I love. All the musicians were doing all they could to give the music their best, hearing how the acoustics of the church needed to change how they played, assimilating the parts that they had not even heard until that point: percussion!

At the performance my heart was beating so fast through the first two pieces, I guess I was nervous about my piece. When it started I could calm down. That opening french horn line is so soothing! And the way the piece built in tempo and intensity was like a dream come true. I had thought I wanted the tempos to stay more consistent, and yet the way Cayenna directed it and the players performed it, the intensity I wanted seemed to flow naturally from the slight changes she made. The players really went over the top at the climax in a very powerful way, the way she had asked them to - "play with exuberance, but don't lose it", or something like that she advised them. And they did it beautifully, with the Call of the Deep in the brass and one horn, in the midst of all the musical activity, reminding us of home, of returning, of time for rest.

Then last Wednesday night was a performance at the Racker Center, where again instruments were missing - bass and percussion, only two first violins. And yet my piece seemed to hold up well, I was very happy to hear it again, and sat right in front of the french horns. Acoustically a very different space, but the orchestra adjusted well to it.

And there are lots of memories to cherish: Doing the interview with Cayenna down at WSKG, with Bill Snyder to promote the concert, and actually hearing from people who then attended the concert because they heard the interview. Seeing my Mom following the score during the run-through on Saturday, and commenting to me "It's a complex piece". Getting such affirming feedback from the audience members who enjoyed the piece, and helpful suggestions for how to give the piece a further life, beyond Ithaca. Sitting in one of the empty first violin section chairs briefly at the Racker Center and being asked to join the Orchestra (on violin, of course!).

One comment I got was about loving the short bit of french horn / flute doubling towards the end, another was about the french horn / oboe doubling moment. Several comments about how great to hear the french horns up close, and several comments about what I call the "lift-off" moment, how it made some people feel swelled up inside, or they felt the sound going through them and up through the tops of their heads. This is the part that always made my younger sister cry (in a good way).

Such a collaborative effort musical performances are! I am in awe of what another friend called the Miracle of it all. The miracle of composing, and then the miracle of all the musicians putting in all the hard work to know what to do with the printed score (conductor and players alike), and the miracle of all the listeners who lend their attention, their ears, their caring, and openness to being affected.

I'm feeling big gratitude to everyone who participated in this miracle. Thank you.

performance at Cayuga Ridge nursing home last night

2010-12-09T07:03:00.000-08:00

First I've heard the whole program, including Saint-Saens bassoon concerto (orchestrated by Cayenna from sonata for bassoon & piano), lovely Brahms for lower strings & woodwinds, horns, plus tricky Elgar. I still get a kick out of my piece referred to as "the Boel". Like "the Brahms".

My piece suffered a bit from missing players - both the pianist and the contrabass players were absent, though we had 4 horns, and a fuller woodwind section (only missing the second bassoonist). Luckily Cayenna asked Diana Geiger, the assistant conductor to play the bass part on the piano, so the parts with the string accompaniment had the downbeat present. And overall it is coming together well!

Interesting phenomenon (missing parts) that all the players are doing really well with - and I can just hope that this flexibility can continue - there are parts that will be heard only on Saturday - timpani, xylophone, second bassoon, and I trust that hearing them for the first time won't throw anyone off.

Bear and I listened from the back of the woodwinds, almost next to the brass, and it was fun to hear the concert from the "stage" so to speak. Also helped my understanding of what goes on in the woodwind section, and how I might better employ the wonderful sounds, and combinations of tonal qualities in my next pieces. Lovely to be immersed in all the music!

Second attendance at rehearsal of Celebration of the Deep

2010-11-05T06:07:00.000-07:00

The conductor Cayenna led a fun and moving rehearsal of my piece this last Wednesday - for one thing she had the woodwinds sitting in front of the second violins and violas - it was great to hear their parts sounding from ahead of the inner strings. I like how she changes things up in interesting and educational ways. Educational for me, at least!

The ICO started playing from the middle of the piece, what I think of as the climactic full section, and proceeded to the end. When they got to the melody of the deep part that comes in towards the end out of quietness, out of all the commotion that came before, tears came to my eyes! I hope that other listeners will be moved by this piece as well.

In case you wondered, it is hard for me to feel responsible for any of this beauty. Yes I remember writing down lots of stuff, working hard on the score, listening inside for inspiration and correction and making the flow of music true to some sort of inner compass. But the final result? That's not "me". For one thing, it is being brought to life by all these other people playing their instruments, bringing their own intentions and attentions to it and fulfilling Cayenna's direction. So there is big collaboration in the performance. For another thing, the parts that are "inspired" in the composition seem to me to arise from something that is not the "me" who wakes up has breakfast and goes for a walk. And of course, the actual melody of the theme of the Deep I arranged from music by Craig Pruess and Ananda, found on the CD 108 Sacred Names of Mother Divine.

Blessings on all creative avenues of expression, and a big thanks to Cayenna and the Ithaca Community Orchestra for taking on Celebration of the Deep and giving it their best. I really appreciate it! Concert is December 11, at the First Baptist Church in Dewitt Park. http://www.cayennaponchione.com/ICO/index.html

Lead-up to first rehearsal...

2010-10-28T10:57:00.000-07:00

Apparently I am going in reverse now, from most recent to less recent...

So I can see that I also neglected to write about the lengthy process of preparing parts for Celebration of the Deep - yikes! Proof-reading the notes and markings, and then trying to put little musical cues into the parts, so that each instrument might have some idea at the end of a long rest, just where their entrance was supposed to fit into what else is going on...

Maybe I get too wound up about this part because of coming from two backgrounds: 1) as a singer, it is typical to see all the other parts (in choral music) plus piano accompaniment, and as a violinist, in orchestra we play often ALL the time, so there are NO rests! No doubt the other instruments get used to counting. I know I watched a percussionist doing a two-handed counting scheme that made me think of an abacus when he had a VERY LONG break before his next entrance. Good idea.

As a performer in my string group Water Bear I noticed that in the repetitions of the basic form we usually played (AABB most often), I could reliably get lost in the music/playing of the moment and not know how many times we had played the form; this is a problem if we had agreed, for example, to do something special for the third time around. We gave each other the "hairy eyeball" when this lapse in memory would occur, or when we had THOUGHT it had occurred. Yes, I was not the only player in Water Bear that this happened to. Without a video/audio of the piece to consult later, it would prove impossible to determine just what had, in fact, happened. The way we played was so improvisatory anyhow, and the musicianship level high enough that I don't think anyone noticed. Did you, ever?

Heard The Deep played!

2010-10-25T17:28:00.000-07:00

Well it was an exciting evening, a couple of weeks ago - I attended an early rehearsal of the orchestra and heard them play through my piece... I enjoyed hearing the live instruments SO much! Plus, finding out that the beginning motif in the strings that I was worried about - it sounds fine! Although I guess the urge is to make tremolo sound sinister instead of playful waves, but it seems to WORK, and that is the main point.

The horns were all together for the first time playing my piece, and again they sounded good. Cayenna is having them move to the front of the orchestra like soloists do who are featured, which I hadn't imagined for some reason... maybe I think the instrument is not easy to carry so we shouldn't make them move. But is is great to be able to see AND hear them play.

Not all parts were represented, I'm not sure when the full personnel will be able to attend rehearsal - and I was musing how it must be tricky to be playing the piece, having no idea how it will all sound when the string bass, trumpets and trombone are missing, not to mention the xylophone/marimba, the timpani, and who knows what else. The balance is off, as is natural! So that's a good sign. If it sounded perfectly balanced now, I would need to worry! :)

Heal Yourself!

2010-09-14T13:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I actually mean "Heal Myself", but in case you're wondering, this is what I've been working on this summer... my family doctor believes I have fibromyalgia, and I've had constant headaches for years now. I'm trying many different approaches, including eating a nutrient-rich diet (Dr. Fuhrman), thyroid hormone replacement (which seemed to help but then made me feel worse even though the tests were still in the "normal" range), and probably most important: going gluten-free two years ago. Exercise also helps, especially in water.

The latest idea I'm trying is to deal more directly with my back-of-head pain, by pursuing bodywork (the always wonderful and nurturing Sondra Hartman) and C1-C2 adjustments to encourage re-alignment of the top of my spinal column... this is as well as growing muscles between my shoulder blades (mid-trapezius, lats) so that I use my arms with solid backing. :)

Yes overall I am feeling improvements! But I'm writing this up here to encourage myself to keep trying new things, and don't give up hope that improvements can occur. There are good days, when I am able to compose, do some financial tax work, cook meals and feel happy. The bad days are ... bad. But usually mostly from suffering I cause myself by worrying that I'll never have a good day again. Why is that? Luckily Bear helps alot on those days... I'm fortunate to have him, music, my Mom and sisters, and my housemate Cha in my life!

2010-08-11T11:45:00.000-07:00

Here's some wonderful music I collaborated on with the amazing Chris Weingarten awhile back, finally "finished". I'm proud of my violin-playing, which is entirely due to how well the music Chris created engaged me.

<a href="http://easylove.bandcamp.com/track/the-great-chase">The great chase by Easylove</a>

First Page of Celebration of the Deep

2010-06-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

Friends, I forgot to tell you how I've changed the beginning of Celebration of the Deep! I was tormented over how busy what I had written might sound, and for what purpose? Really I wanted the french horn melody to shine over everything else. And I seem to have a tendency to want to start every piece with a drone, why? And I heard the opening of the second act of Tristan und Isolde by Wagner, where for what seems like a long time, all we are hearing is solo brass, maybe even one instrument at a time at first.... hm.... and so, I changed The Deep so that it starts with solo french horn, and THEN the strings come in... and I'm having them use tremolo bowing for the waves hitting shore effect (we can only hope...).

The Deep and the Greens

2010-06-20T14:16:00.000-07:00

On Friday I sent off the much-improved score of The Deep to Cayenna for her feedback and comments, after making sure that no "bare" notes remained... dynamic levels EVERYWHERE, lots of dots and dashes and crescendos and decrescendos, and I'm happy to say that she is pleased with it! "This has really developed!! I think the orchestra will enjoy playing this a lot." were the first words in the email. Yay! I worked up to this by first sending the score and an mp3 of my computer playing it, to my sister Alice, who is also a composer, and she was very enthusiastic about it, so that built up my confidence... and I have to say that Cayenna continues to be for me a fantastic collaborator in bringing my music to life in performance. What a gift she has, and how blessed we are in this community for all her efforts!

And now today has been filled with washing and chopping up greens for 2 big salads, and chopping and cooking kale & swiss chard stalks without the leaves, celery, and garlic scapes for soup. Now we're eating the creamy green soup which I blended with some cashews and a couple of dates and some added water. When I reheated it I added in some baby bokchoy, yum!

Bear and I are into eating lots of veggies, basically transitioning to fully following Dr. Fuhrman's Eat To Live plan, check it out here.

The idea is that since veggies (especially colorful ones and dark green ones) are so full of nutrients, we should really be eating primarily veggies and fruits in order to get the full complement of almost all the needed vitamins, minerals, protein, fat, & carbs. So he recommends eating 1 lb of raw veggies (mostly greens) and 1 lb of steamed veggies (mostly greens) per day. Did you know that 100 calories of broccoli has about twice as much protein as 100 calories of beef? There is one vitamin you need to take if you eliminate animal products completely: B12. So bit by bit we're doing it - we are becoming "Nutritarians". It feels tremendously good and life and health-affirming!

Eat a carrot on me!

Time Elapsed Composing

2010-06-02T05:05:00.000-07:00

In the last 6 weeks I think I've been able to spend only about 10 hours on The Deep, some of that time spent studying the score for flaws (and let me just say what an overwhelmed state of mind THAT little exercise led to!). Mostly issues of No Time for the Winds/Brass To Breathe. They need some Rests.

But in the second half of April I went away to Harbin Hot Springs Retreat, to soak in the wonderfully relaxing and rejuvenating warm waters, do lots of meditation, eat great food prepared by their capable chefs, sleep & hike & explore & stretch. I Rested! And healed - I had a cranio-sacral session with Jim Gilkeson that opened up my own ability to breathe deeply, plus feel grounded and connected.

So I've been worrying about all the work necessary to create Rests for the winds/brasses in The Deep, but while at Harbin I came up with a strategy: Separate out the winds, instead of having one staff for flutes, one for oboes, etc., have Flute 1 and Flute 2, Oboe 1 and Oboe2, etc. This makes a mess of trying to see all the staves at once (I have to pull them apart in Sibelius so I can see what I have), but at least once I do that I can move things around easier.

And it's working! So is this a coincidence? I'm having trouble breathing, and my composing is not giving winds/brass a chance to breathe either. Then I get some Rest, and am able to put in Rests so the wind & brass players can breathe, and now the piece is seeming to breathe better, too. And there is more clarity. I imagine that those little gaps in the sound give the listener a chance to breathe as well, what do you think?

Did I develop this inability to personally breathe deeply by being a string player with endless sound capability with the bow?

Time for a few deep breaths, and some Rest.

the deep part of The Deep, and art vs. technique?

2010-04-13T12:33:00.000-07:00

Friends,

I got tired of my own procrastination and worrying over who is going to play the deepest notes in my Celebration of the Deep. Originally written for an altered double bass that is tuned down a fourth so that the lowest pitch was B 3 octaves below middle C, I've struggled with what instruments in a "normal" orchestra can play that low. Contra Bassoon, Bass Clarinet, and yay, Piano. The Ithaca Community Orchestra has access to a piano in their rehearsal and performance spaces, so this is a possibility. No one who has a low reed instrument, would have to be borrowed. So this morning, very nervously, I went to see if the piano at the performance space has a functioning low B. It does! It even sounds pretty good! So I am one very happy camper. I will try Cayenna's conductor/director's idea of doubling that low line with the alternating of two bassoons, this should make it simpler than trying to borrow instruments yes? Simple is good!

Yesterday I got to hear a bit about Cayenna's efforts in composing a new piece for marimba and cello, for the Percussive Arts Society composition competition (which she won in 2003 with her piece "The Creation" which you can read about it here at Cayenna's website).

Apparently she is getting criticism from her cellist friend who is trying it out for her, that he wants more interesting parts to play, more soaring lines, less use of cello as percussion instrument, more lead melody, even more notes period. She told him "but that isn't the piece!" I wrote to Cayenna:

"I loved hearing about your process in writing the marimba & cello piece - I was reflecting on the tension/challenge/excitement of the need to be true to the composition and what it seems to be calling for, vs. the needs/wants of the players. My music is often too simple (except for the improvising parts, which is where I'm expecting them to satisfy all their virtuosic urges). But Ben Smith once told me that he likes to think of violin-playing as equivalent to an athletic endeavor, a "sport" that is using all his muscles and intellect and ability all at once, and he wants to have challenges that he can overcome, high goals to achieve. Part of me thinks that is a bit shallow, really - that creating music, and expressing something with the music is more important than proving you have "chops" like in bebop jazz.

"I saw a master class with Francois Rabbath (spelling?), Nicholas Walker's bass teacher from France and one of the most striking thing about it was seeing all these students of Nicholas' perform, and hearing the teacher's reaction and feedback. One beginner player played an etude from book 1 of Rabbath, and played it SO beautifully, so musically, with such wonderful expression, that Rabbath was speechless, and couldn't think of a thing to say. I think he said something about hearing his work performed so beautifully was a big honor for him as a composer, and he was visibly moved. Nicholas told him he had to give some kind of feedback/criticism, say SOMETHING, so he pointed out a few structural things for the guy to work on next - the way he was holding the bow, standing, etc.

"Maybe I err too much in favor of making the parts easy so that there is more potential to reach this higher level?"

I haven't heard back from her yet, but when I do, I'll let you know what she says. What is your take on this?

Present Time

2010-04-05T16:51:00.000-07:00

Last week I had an insight into how liberating staying in the present moment can really be, and why that is so. Especially for a perfectionist. My husband and I each hate being blamed or criticized for something we did "wrong"; recently we figured out that this is because we are WAY harder on ourselves already, even before the other person has noticed what we've blown. And we also understood that the best way "out" is to stay in the present, where all the creativity and problem-solving energy exists and can be tapped almost instantly.

Case in point: Last Friday we went to Oneonta to pick up my child-hood twin bed frame and mattresses in a big ol' rental van that was a challenge to drive, even for a former bus driver like me. On the way back, we were past the last Oneonta exit when I realized I'd left a vital component to my overnight kit that could not be easily replaced. I gave myself an instant headache blaming myself for it, started crying right away and thinking how terrible this was going to be, because we were on a time schedule with having to return the van by a certain time, etc. Bear was critical of me for about two seconds, then he was able to quickly let that go and get into problem-solving mode. He called up my mother to see if she could grab the item and meet us at the western side of Oneonta, meanwhile we would get off at the next exit and circle back, and then he called the rental company to let them know we would be late and make sure there wasn't another rental of this vehicle coming right up. I was able to let go of blaming myself and just move into this new plan, which was really fine.

Lots better than arguing and going ballistic on each other for 30 minutes before being able to come up with a plan and start executing it. Have you done this?

My niece Emily has shared with me a round called Let Go and Move by Velma Frye that goes:

With all that has been, take lessons, take lessons and be grateful
Let go let go let go let go
Let go and move, move on
move on

Yes!

French Horn Choir

2010-04-01T09:55:00.000-07:00

Managed to spend a couple of hours yesterday composing new material for french horns for a section that previously was just a repeat. 12 bars I'm working on, 4 part harmony, am aiming for a little bit of polyphony, some brass effects, hope it will be lovely and that it will still lead well into the next section! I like the uncertainty of it all - the creativity and inspiration and problem-solving when the solution is very unclear at almost all moments. Heck, the process is FUN! And then I give it a rest and check back in later to see if what I wrote is any good... I let my belly be the guide, because when it is not "right" I feel unease and discomfort in my gut. Interesting, eh?
5 Months To Go... :Four French Horns -- Three More Brass -- Two Of Every Wind -- And There's One (Me) Composing It All. :) [ Sung to the tune of "on the first day of christmas" except I've started with the 5 golden rings part. I know it is not the season! ]

More on Celebration of the Deep

2010-03-29T12:02:00.000-07:00

Supposed to be doing some tax work this morning, but instead I stole an hour or so to immerse myself in the orchestral piece. There's lots to be straightened out/edited, and one approach I was enjoying using is to listen to each section separately: The strings, the brass, the woodwinds. Amazing what emerges then, including odd note/pitch errors (as well as less-than-ideal choices). Since I'm learning about orchestration, I've been using the text by George Frederick McKay Creative Orchestration which has lots of practical advice and encouragement. I may even be following some of it! In particular I worked on a section where the strings are playing a pizzicato accompaniment, and I wanted the chord progression to be more interesting and varied even though the basic chord structure is pretty simple. I come from the land of folk/rock basically, even power chords with no thirds are prominent in my sound-repertoire. But with the glories of all these instruments I've been having fun filling it all out. Am eager to hear all it all sounds with real players.

However, now I'm going to install more memory in my husband's computer - he was jealous when I got my new memory installed, wanted more too... can't really blame him.

Installed memory

2010-03-27T08:39:00.000-07:00

My big accomplishment yesterday was installing 2 gigs more of RAM into my desktop, now my machine is humming along wonderfully! No time to do anything else, however... Looking forward to next composing hour to be enjoyed.

Laundry, cooking/prepping veggies takes precedence today.

I made a green lemonade juice with my Breton Juicer: One bunch Kale, 1/4 head romaine lettuce, leftover Chard Salad Mix, one whole lemon, one whole apple cut into quarters. Yummy! I'm getting better/faster at cleaning the thing, too. Plus the pulp goes into my compost bucket now, so I don't feel guilty about putting it into the garbage. Compost bucket gets picked up whenever I need it picked up, by the wonderful Tom Shelley, of Steep Hollow Farm who needs the food scraps to make compost for the chickens being raised to give eggs sustainably. So I can also get eggs delivered along with the new, fresh compost bucket which comes prepared with shredded newsprint in the bottom.

Happy Spring Day, cold and sunny. Time to go for a walk!

Yay! Worked on "The Deep"!

2010-03-25T16:14:00.000-07:00

Woke up thinking today might be the day, and then put on Maria Schneider Orchestra with her "Hang Gliding" piece, SO inspiring, and then opened up Sibelius and loaded all the orchestral sounds for Celebration of the Deep, and started work on the string section in the beginning. The part I want them to sound like the ocean, including a bit of waves breaking on the shore. Here's what I ended up with for the very beginning, Page One. The basses have the steady deep underwater level, the cellos have the ocean swells, the violas have the more surface waves before they reach the shore:

And Page Two, the tremolo action in the First and Second Violins - that is my attempt at imitating the sounds of waves breaking on shore::

I'm very excited to hear the orchestra try this out, hopefully sometime this spring. I'll let you know how it goes when they do. First I need to straighten out the woodwind and brass parts so I don't have the first bassoon endlessly playing with no chance for a breath, for example.

Actually opened Sibelius today

2010-03-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

I'm still hoping for a composing slot in my day soon, and to whet my appetite and appease it a bit all in the same step, I opened up Sibelius and my Water Flows round, which I recently re-wrote in 5 beats per measure. It has four parts, and to sing along with it I select the first three parts to play, leaving me to sing the 4th part. This is a good strategy to check out the reality of trying to sing it, from various vantage points, still being one person with one voice (haven't mastered the tuvan harmonic throat singing totally yet).

Just in case you need help looking at the format of this round, each singer (total of 4 needed) enters at the beginning when the preceding singer reaches the second line, which starts with a quarter-note rest then "runs deep..." So yes obviously someone has to start! :) The two measure ending doesn't make alot of sense in this format, sorry! It is to be harmonized by all 4 voices, what appears here is only one part. Yikes. Well, that is a problem for another day.
Enjoy!

I need more memory!

2010-03-22T14:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon I suffered through yet another session of s-l-o-w while trying to work in Sibelius, my music notation software program. When I'm composing I LIVE in Sibelius. But it is nice to also be able to check my email, browse a little, maybe google something... but NO, not with only 1 gig of RAM in my PC (running windows xp sp3). So this morning I checked out Best Buy online to see if they had the memory I needed, then ran (drove) to the store, promptly picking up exactly the right stuff except no it wasn't the right shape a-tall, which I noticed once I got the case off my PC and took a look at the memory slots. It was for a laptop, and I have a desktop. So then I returned it, went back online and ordered the *real* right stuff from crucial. They even had a scan program that ran on my PC, said what I had, said what I needed to upgrade the RAM, and showed how much my performance would increase. Supposed to arrive on Wednesday. Question to Self: "Will you be waiting until Wednesday to make any progress on Celebration of the Deep? Or what about "Joel" for Cello Big Band, huh?" Answer from Self: "You'll just have to be patient."

Am I a Composer?

2010-03-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

So this morning I realized that I LOVE putting "Composer" as my occupation on the numerous Customs forms I fill out when visiting Tortola, BVI. I write it in, even when weeks might pass in between composing activities (other than thinking, does that count?). Or maybe the short session I had with my niece Emily in her parents' room at the rental villa counts, where we looked at and listened to several rounds she has been composing; this was spurred by my own project writing rounds apparently, including trying to write rounds in Medieval Modes like Lydian. She was trying a particularly thorny mode with a half step as its first interval, and 2 major thirds in odd places, a middle-eastern scale of some sort most probably.

It was great fun to see how she was going about the process of working on rounds. They require lots of creative problem-solving which is a blast, basically. Changing a note early on in the round has ramifications later on as you can imagine, but hearing it actually happen means that you then have to change about a zillion other notes... And I learned something, too, from Emily. Why not have the second part that comes in imitate the first part initially, and then branch out? And why not, indeed! It is a lovely effect.
Soon I'll edit these posts to add pictures of the sheet music if I can. And I wish I could add links to mp3's. I'll see if there is any capability for that...

So back to whether I am a composer. Yes! Of course I am, because in my heart that is how I see myself. Even though right now most of my time is taken up with: Cooking, Preparing vegetables for salads and crudites, Assisting my husband Bear with our tax strategies business, Doing laundry, and Exercising. This morning I could feel the palpable Urge To Compose coming upon me. The Celebration of the Deep is calling, and I'm just about ready to meet it at my computer and open my mind and heart to the universe where all the wonderful creative solutions to various sorts of musical problems seems to come from. I find myself worrying about how much work it will be, hard work, and also how immersed in it I will get, so that everything else will be forgotten and ignored, perhaps for days on end, maybe for only one day. But what happens is that eventually the Urge to Compose overcomes all obstacles, and I jump in. Wish me luck.

2010-03-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

Just got back from glorious sunny & warm vacation on Tortola in the British Virgin Islands, where my family has gone for a week or two each winter for a few years now... while there, I did some thinking and planning for my orchestra piece "Celebration of the Deep", still struggling to figure out how to get the strings to sound like the ocean in the beginning. Since I was AT the ocean while on Tortola, thought it would be a good time to brainstorm, and it was. I realized that the waves are heard from the left, from the right, in stereo that is not at all matched up. So from that, I got the idea of alternating what section is providing motion, while the others hold on steady long bows, or maybe just detache bows on the same note rather than a wavy up and down a fourth kind of thing. Hm. I can see I should attach pictures of what I'm talking about.

I want the "ocean" part to be there, but not to draw too much attention, since I want the theme of the deep, played by the french horns to predominate. Cayenna Ponchione, the wonderful conductor of the Ithaca Community Orchestra, has said that I can have a run-through some time this spring, in preparation for the group playing my piece in the fall. That would give me a chance to hear some ideas!

2005-10-25T16:37:00.000-07:00

composing blocks, part one

For me, composing goes alot easier if I am asked to compose a piece for a specific purpose. There doesn't have to be money involved, although that is great when it happens. But to be needed, to have my creative efforts desired, this motivates me amazingly well. I've worked a bit on fabricating this desire during times when no one else is asking, and sometimes that even works. I like to know what the situation is I'm writing for: who will be playing, where will it be performed, etc., and if it is a "rush" job, I am even more motivated and excited and prolific. On the other hand, any lack of self-confidence translates quickly into a slump, a block of the flow of ideas and structures and sounds and textures. And any outright rejection of my musical ideas seems to kill the flow completely. So I've learned to keep "secrets".

2005-10-12T14:22:00.000-07:00

So the recording session went REALLY well, it's hours later and I'm still high on the joy of it all. The process of creating music with talented and sensitive people is totally engaging and rewarding and fulfilling for me. Starting at 9am was counter-intuitive perhaps, but worked...

Picture this: 5 improvising musicians huddled in a circle of music stands, mike stands, headphones and cords, with the director of the play just one small step back from the circle, but still a part of it. Two violins, cello, upright bass, and electric piano. First we played the piece that will be heard last in the play, a beautiful ballad of counterpoint and texture, in order to "warm up", check levels, get used to wearing the headphones, etc. The trick (at least with acoustic instruments like we're playing) is to slip the headphones off one ear, or partway off both ears, so you can hear yourself and the others "live" as well as hear what is in the mix.

Next we did the "soundscape" moments, 5 to 10 seconds worth of various whispering, scarey, tense, and ethereal ideas, to be used when the lights dim and characters switch places on stage.
The director would ask for something less scarey, and we'd have another go at it. For ethereal, the pianist was noting that we ended up in C major, I maintained this was because I started us off on an open fifth drone of c and g. Very little discussion of what to do, just the doing of it, the creating together, following the cues and hints of each other's playing...

Then we tackled each character's theme music in turn, creating several versions of some of them: scattered then jubilant, sad then frantic. Signaling each other with eyebrow lifts, which worked great except when the other violinist had his eyes closed. "I was in a trance" he said.

The main male character's theme the director and I had decided would start with solo cello, and we did a version of it with the two violins and cello all playing in octave unison, piano and bass making up the chords (because I hadn't gotten that far with the composing process!). Another theme featured the violin playing longer notes above a swirling of short phrases woven around each other and repeating endlessly in minimalist fashion. The main female character's theme was a halting, hesitant rendition of a slow jazz ballad I wrote, with chords not coming quite in the right place, to illustrate her attempts to be "normal" and to cope, not quite working.

Music is something else, isn't it? Now I need to get back into the independent film I'm attempting to score.

Headaches are no fun...

2005-10-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

Well, here's my first attempt at blogging. I'm slogging through a headache today, one that makes me type funny sometimes, forget many things, and feel desperate about my future. Then the headache might lift a little, and I can feel hope. Yesterday I was able to compose and then use Sibelius to enter my ideas and work on them further, and tomorrow I am recording with Water Bear members at REP Studio, all for the score to Two Rooms (by Lee Blessing), to be performed by the Kitchen Theatre starting in late October. So maybe today is the day of rest and recovery before the next energy expenditure.